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The Obligatory What do People Search for when they End up Here Post?
Apr 20th, 2011 by JuannyCinco

For whatever reason, bloggers always seem to post the inevitable cliché post.  That is,  the post that lets you know that people found my blog by searching for seemingly random things.  Well, I succumbed to the combination of wanting to let my three readers know I was still alive and not having anything to say…. and being surprised that anyone searched for anything and ended up here!

So these are the random pieces of information people were looking for:

  • sbarro new york cheese pizza
  • bagel
  • fractal broccoli
  • rapini définition
  • juanny
  • greasy pizza
  • new york pizza and bagels
  • sbarro new york style pizza

All in all I discovered that when you update a blog once every three months that not much of anything is ever found on your blog.  But, I thought I would add some comments to these small search number subjects.

I take pride in the fact that you can come to my blog and find posts on GREASY PIZZA and FRACTAL BROCCOLI.  It shows I offer a diverse set of choices to satisfy all number of palates.  I also take pride in the fact that the people that find my site can spell BROCCOLI!

There are searches for Juanny?! Someone famous is called Juanny?! Wait.. maybe it’s me searching for myself.  Not that I’m vain or anything.   Oh never mind.  I’ll pretend that I have groupies.

Perhaps the most interesting statistic is that this site gets hundreds of visitors a month downloading a BAGEL picture and not stopping to say hello!  I don’t know whether to be happy or mad.  I have loads of backlinks making my site look legitimate to Google, so I guess it’s a good thing?  But couldn’t you just stop and say something ?

The search for sbarro I find surprising.  Really? Sbarro? Are they still even around? Maybe they’re not and that’s why people are searching?

So that list, that’s apparently what people want.  I didn’t realize I had a food blog.  I will focus my future posts on this research and provide posts on various foods.  I may rename the blog:  “THE DIAMETRIC FOOD MENU”.  In all seriousness, I will make a couple of foodie posts for your pleasure and amusement before returning to my normal cynicism… or silence, as it would be more accurately described.

Eurovision 1981, Vegetables, or Charles Christodoulou
Oct 2nd, 2010 by JuannyCinco

Today’s blog is about Making Your Mind Up.   I had posted on Facebook recently:

I’m going to write a blog post on making your mind up. Not as serious as it sounds. Or maybe I won’t.

Well.  The time arrived and I decided that I would not .  This good feeling did not last, however, because someone commented that they had expected a blog post on this subject !

So now I am forced to write one, or so I have decided.  Or someone else decided.

But can I remember the inspiration for this subject?

Eurovision

Could the inspiration have been the Eurovision contest? We did, after all, recently travel through an historical tour of the contest in my house.  We took note of the many sad entries: Celine Dion, Abba, and then I brought up the great UK Entry from 1981.  Could this be it ?

Well, as much fun as that video is, it’s not the reason for me wondering about what it takes to make you mind up.  I do wonder what “don’t let your inhibitions take you from behind” means, though.

Could it be that I recently ate some confused fruit and veg?  Probably not, but this though does present an opportunity to educate some of you who don’t experiment too much in the green grocery section of the supermarket.

Rapini

Rapini

Bill B Brocco

Consider Rapini.  Or is that Rabe? It can’t even decide on its name!  Well because American shoppers love branding and are generally more accepting of cleverly named vegetables, it usually goes by the name broccolini.  When I say “name” I mean it is “called” broccolini: it doesn’t really have a name, unless of course, you give it one (like Bill).

I happen to love Bill for two very simple reasons: firstly it cooks in no time at all, and secondly it tastes like a lot like one of my other favorite vegetables – the mighty spinach but with a floret that soaks up any juice goodness.

Try it out.  Trim the stems and cook it covered semi-submerged in stock with garlic until it goes a little limp.  Simple! Add some Israeli couscous and protein of your choice and you’re quite simple good to go.   It’s a strong, somewhat bitter flavor that sits somewhere between spinach and greens but there is a little sweetness in the stems that goes a long way to offset that flavor.  It is definitely robust in flavor!

Don’t Overcook.  If it is all soft then it is Overcooked. Should have a nice crunch

Fractal Broccoli

Digital Art or Vegetable?

Is it a green cauliflower? Is it romanesco Broccoli?  No! We’re in America, so it’s obviously got that nice brandable name: it’s a broccoflower.  Really this is nothing more than a fractalized cauliflower- if anything it’s slightly milder taste.   Regular cauliflower is good, but broccoflower is simply better because it looks great on a plate when you’re making a post-modern feast.

Cook as regular cauliflower.  You can probably mash it, currify it, cheese it up.  I happen to just like it plain.

Don’t Overcook.  If it is all soft then it is Overcooked.

Nashi Pear

Apple or Pear Shaped

It can’t decide if it’s a apple or a pear.  The marketing department really failed on this one:  apple pear, or, Asian pear.  Despite the branding let down, it’s a wonderful fruit with the flavor of an apple and the color and body of a pear.  Strangely, it is not related to the apple or the pear.   I’d eat them more but at $1.69 a pop they’re not as cheap as apples OR pears but definitely worth trying.

Kentucky’s Finest Fruit

Homer the Hero

This is here to honor the one and only Jeff Carey who was my office mate of times long gone.  He’s out in the country of Kentucky and we’ve often discussed the Simpsons episode where Homer creates the Tomacco – the addictive tomato.  Well, it turns out someone created one.

BUT FINALLY

Mr Charles Christodoulou

Overcompensating

… the real source of the inspiration and thought behind the subject of “Making Your Mind Up” was a commercial for Mr Florida, Mr Tanned, Mr Charles Christodoulou.   Is he Greek? Is he American? Is he Gay? Is he Straight? Is he a Democrat? Is he a Republican? No! He’s a political stray.  More importantly, he wants you to think he is whatever you want him to be.

He is an Independent.

In the great state of partisan politics, there is nothing worse than an Independent: they are automatically flip-floppers.

He’s not a Republican and nor is he a Democrat.  He a Democraplican – which is good way of saying that he’s changed his mind on a number of issues to get votes now that he doesn’t have a party’s house to play in.   He’s been anti-gay and pro-gay.  Right now he’s pro-gay rights which is a good enough reason for me to at least consider him a human and not solely a politician.

I’ve made my mind up to end this blog post here.

Florida vs New York
Jan 15th, 2010 by JuannyCinco

You probably didn’t know until 10 seconds from now that I work in an environment that is heavily dominated by New Yorkers.  Now there is nothing inherently wrong with New Yorkers, it’s just that things usually get off to a bad start due to the fact that they insist that there are no places that supply pizza comparable to their local NY corner pizza

Hmmm... lovely droopy greasy pizza..

I have yet to understand this because as far as I can tell it always looks reminiscent of SBARRO which we have in every mall next door to the China Bourbon Chicken Factory ™

To put one foot further forward towards annoying everyone they always insist that nowhere knows how to make a proper bagel! Not even Ray’s (which say authentic on the bag!)  They’re even better frozen than fresh! (allegedly, talk to Ray).

Original Jewish New York Bagel (from Korean store)

Crappy Fake Florida Bagel

Of course the irony is that a bagel was created to work around the sabbath and is inferior to proper bread.  It’s like complaining that you can’t buy your old bunny ears while looking at the latest deep black multi input HDMI digital 55 inch LED indoor movie screen.

Better than that new fangled Hi-Def?

So, if you’re keeping score, that’s New York 2-0 Florida.

New Yorkers also insist that everything is bigger, better, faster, more crowded, corrupt, [cut it out, Ed] and just more but Juanny is here to set the record straight – it’s a best of five!

  1. New York has Three Card Monte – all that requires is to find the Ace within 3 cards and its just a hustle where thieves take advantage of individual tourists (please come back).   We have the Florida Three House Monte where police have to find the empty house with the stolen goods – this is thieves taking advantage of banks, people, police and of the giant gaping chasm in the economy given to us by New York’s famed Wall Street.

    Florida wins this one.  New York 2-1 Florida.

  2. New York has second rate Chinese purses and they are nothing but cheap knock offs.  Florida? we don’t do cheap second rate Chinese knock-offs, we do full blown second rate products that result in major  knock-downs. Chinese drywall, it’s safer than Chinese milk ™.

    Florida wins this one.New York 2-2 Florida.

  3. New Yorkers complain about the terrible drivers and the awful interstates in the area.  Yes.  You have terrible drivers and psychopathic cab drivers; however, while we only have to deal with your snow-birds for three months of the year they’re the oldest and the worsest drivers of them all.  That and we have to deal with the other traffic as I’ve discussed.

    A tie on that one. New York 2-2 Florida.

  4. New York has a homeless problem….yeah, well Florida has a peopleless problem….I’m going to call this a tie due to this potential win-win solution.

    A tie on that one.  New York 2-2 Florida.

  5. New York is supposed to be primo real estate yet Derek Jeter – yes Derek Jeter, the famous Yankee and every New Yorkers favorite New Yorker is building his pleasure palace right here in Florida.  He doesn’t even want to pay taxes there and claims Florida as his home even as he’s standing scratching himself between 2nd and 3rd at Yankee Stadium.

    New York 2-3 Florida.Game – Set- Match.

    Oh, and by the way, Chicago Pizza is way better….

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