Florida vs New York
Jan 15th, 2010 by JuannyCinco

You probably didn’t know until 10 seconds from now that I work in an environment that is heavily dominated by New Yorkers.  Now there is nothing inherently wrong with New Yorkers, it’s just that things usually get off to a bad start due to the fact that they insist that there are no places that supply pizza comparable to their local NY corner pizza

Hmmm... lovely droopy greasy pizza..

I have yet to understand this because as far as I can tell it always looks reminiscent of SBARRO which we have in every mall next door to the China Bourbon Chicken Factory ™

To put one foot further forward towards annoying everyone they always insist that nowhere knows how to make a proper bagel! Not even Ray’s (which say authentic on the bag!)  They’re even better frozen than fresh! (allegedly, talk to Ray).

Original Jewish New York Bagel (from Korean store)

Crappy Fake Florida Bagel

Of course the irony is that a bagel was created to work around the sabbath and is inferior to proper bread.  It’s like complaining that you can’t buy your old bunny ears while looking at the latest deep black multi input HDMI digital 55 inch LED indoor movie screen.

Better than that new fangled Hi-Def?

So, if you’re keeping score, that’s New York 2-0 Florida.

New Yorkers also insist that everything is bigger, better, faster, more crowded, corrupt, [cut it out, Ed] and just more but Juanny is here to set the record straight – it’s a best of five!

  1. New York has Three Card Monte – all that requires is to find the Ace within 3 cards and its just a hustle where thieves take advantage of individual tourists (please come back).   We have the Florida Three House Monte where police have to find the empty house with the stolen goods – this is thieves taking advantage of banks, people, police and of the giant gaping chasm in the economy given to us by New York’s famed Wall Street.

    Florida wins this one.  New York 2-1 Florida.

  2. New York has second rate Chinese purses and they are nothing but cheap knock offs.  Florida? we don’t do cheap second rate Chinese knock-offs, we do full blown second rate products that result in major  knock-downs. Chinese drywall, it’s safer than Chinese milk ™.

    Florida wins this one.New York 2-2 Florida.

  3. New Yorkers complain about the terrible drivers and the awful interstates in the area.  Yes.  You have terrible drivers and psychopathic cab drivers; however, while we only have to deal with your snow-birds for three months of the year they’re the oldest and the worsest drivers of them all.  That and we have to deal with the other traffic as I’ve discussed.

    A tie on that one. New York 2-2 Florida.

  4. New York has a homeless problem….yeah, well Florida has a peopleless problem….I’m going to call this a tie due to this potential win-win solution.

    A tie on that one.  New York 2-2 Florida.

  5. New York is supposed to be primo real estate yet Derek Jeter – yes Derek Jeter, the famous Yankee and every New Yorkers favorite New Yorker is building his pleasure palace right here in Florida.  He doesn’t even want to pay taxes there and claims Florida as his home even as he’s standing scratching himself between 2nd and 3rd at Yankee Stadium.

    New York 2-3 Florida.Game – Set- Match.

    Oh, and by the way, Chicago Pizza is way better….

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