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Apple Schmapple
Oct 20th, 2009 by JuannyCinco

Apple, oh Apple…oh how I wish William Tell were still around to right your semi-evil ways.

The press ? They love you for they talk endlessly of the new $39* Snow Leopard. Yes, $39* dollars!!! That’s cheaper than Windows 7 (oh, and don’t even let me count the ways that Windows 7 is sold – I only have 10 fingers and 10 toes)…

I wish there was something as simple as Snow Leopard that would run laptops, workstations, mid and large size servers out of the box with multitudes of hardware / software configurations so that I could spend $39* and be happy. I can’t wait to get Snow Leopard and run it on my PC – I can’t? Even with a family licence? It’s required to run on Apple hardware? Well ok then…

But the asterisk that’s a bad sign right?
No?!?
Say it’s not good news, it can’t be at that price!
It is!!!

…if I buy a NEW Mac then I can join your up-to-date program for $9.95? Now I call that a bargain! The best I ever had ((C) The Who)

But wait…there is another asterisk*, oh noes… not a real asterisk ?
Yeppers…you get through two marketing positives to get to this one…

What is this infernal asterisk? Well….let’s just say it’s a shame if you’re running on Tiger because the upgrade isn’t available to you…but don’t despair, they have a full install package which costs a mere $169 (+ Tax for me because you stupidly opened a store in Florida….damn you!!!) and $230 for family pack…

Why the full price? Because you know, well, we are hacking (ahem) away on old machines (barely 2 years old) and deserve the pain of releasing the moths from our wallets.  Well, not exactly, it’s because we missed out on the iLife and iWorks upgrades!?

Apple has just conveniently bundled the software because, well, because NO ONE has ever complained about bundling extra software and that’s incredible nice of them.  Really, it is, because I don’t know of any free alternatives to iWorks. Do you?

But don’t despair, as a positive comparison, it was recently reported that Windows 7 was the single most expensive component on a new PC. That’s right – more than your CPU or hard drive! Apple has made a mockery with their $39* dollar Mac OS Snow Leopard. That’s right…the most expensive thing in an Apple is not the OS at all – stupid Microsoft !!! What is the most expensive component ? Why it’s the incredible indelible Apple logo, of course….makes you cool and only adds about $500 or so to the price of your lappy but who’s counting anyway – you need to accessorize your hardware… charging an iPhone on a PC just isn’t cool.

Still some of you geeks will complain.  $39*?!?  I hear you saying “That’s almost as cheap as Linux… but not quite.. thanks but no thanks… ”

But I ask you this: “have you ever seen the machines that run Linux?”  They’re old, they’re the spare bits, the left-overs, the file servers, the gateways, the hand me downs…mostly** . Have you seen Apple’s products? They’re pretty, beautiful and slick and oh my, the LED Glossy screen…..and they look good even in $39* clothing…  They take your Tuxedo and raise you a Liberace!

So anyway. Thanks Apple. I will enjoy your $39* dollar upgrade.. right after I buy Leopard on e-bay…[edit Sept 8 2009 – my wife bought SL for me….]

**Linux runs on kick ass z/Series machines in reality.

Disclosure – I own a Mac (obviously) and an iPhone…. i need to look cool even if I’m vehemently opposed to Apple’s marketing madness methods.

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